If I Never Knew You

Epilogue

Darkness.

Thick, oppressive darkness. Karone could barely breathe. And she thought to herself: This is it. This is what oblivion feels like. This is what it was like for her. All the horror and bloodshed and misery... and this is how it ended.

Footsteps echoed in the void. She wasn't alone. Her eyes locked with the blue gaze of her ghostly alter-ego. She wasn't surprised to see that her dark side had abandoned the elaborate garb of the Princess of Evil. Instead of vivid wigs and black vinyl, Astronema stood before her as Karone. She was her reflection, right down to the gray workout suit she wore.

Karone frowned, suddenly reminded of her training exercise in the Simudeck. Of Zhane's proposal, and her cold rejection. Of his heartbroken reaction, that inspired her ill-fated wish, and all its ramifications. It felt like a lifetime had passed since that moment. Someone else's lifetime.

"I don't believe it," Karone murmured, shaking her head. "She was the most powerful being in the universe. She could have defended herself."

The duplicate nodded gravely. "Yes. She could have crushed that last threat to her sovereignty. She would have been secure in her immortality until the end of time."

"So... why? I don't understand..."

"I think you do. I think you understand perfectly."

Karone recalled that tiny smile, right before the end. All that energy the Goddess could have unleashed. And she had chosen... death?

Yes... death. Over an empty, meaningless life. Death, rather than an endless succession of tomorrows, all blurring into each other, alone in her little jeweled box as her empire - so beneath her notice now - collapsed into ruin. It was the choice Karone would have made herself, had she been in her alternate's place.

But she wasn't that person. Because of Zhane? Could one person make such a difference?

Her reflection gave a soft, tired sigh. "You haven't learned anything, have you? This wasn't about Zhane... at least, not just Zhane. It was him and you and Andros, and Darkonda and Ecliptor, and all the other Rangers. Every choice made, and every battle fought."

"What do you mean?" Karone asked.

"This all began when you rejected Zhane's proposal. Because you didn't think you're worthy of his love. You don't think you deserve happiness."

Karone nodded slowly.

"But look how differently it could have turned out. Think of how events fell into place in just the right way to allow your first meeting. In another world, in another time, you might not have been so fortunate. Such things can only be ascribed to fate."

Fate. She'd never put that label on what had happened between her and Zhane. "Are you implying that Zhane is my destiny?"

Again, her alter ego shook her head. "Not in the way you mean. For whatever reason - be it fate, circumstance, or the living will of the universe - the chain of cause and effect brought you this far. The world we saw could have come to pass, but didn't. Instead, you met Zhane. You discovered love. You got to this moment."

The darkness receded. Karone jumped at the sudden flash of light, and openly stared at her new surroundings. Or rather, her previous surroundings.

She was right back where it started. On the Simudeck, where Zhane had proposed.

"You got to this moment," the double repeated. "Do not doubt his feelings, or yours, or your worthiness to have what you have. Darkonda could have taken Andros instead of you. Zhane might never have been born. In an infinite combination of events and consequences, this is what you were given. Embrace it."

Karone nodded absently, her complete attention captured by the sudden reappearance of her love. It felt like years since she'd seen him, and there he was, alive and well, whole and mostly unhurt. His laugh, his smile, his endless optimism... the world her wish had spawned was so dark without him. After all she'd endured and the horrors she'd witnessed, she wanted nothing more than to melt into his arms.

But that was out of the question.

He's still frozen!

The bracelet... the gift that would symbolize their pending union... hung from his tightened fist. Tears hovered in his frustrated eyes. His mouth was still half open; he'd been frozen just when he'd muttered those bitter words.

"I wish I never met you..."

Karone closed her eyes, wrenching sorrow claiming her once again. "It's too late," she sighed brokenly. "After what I said to him, he must hate me." She sniffed. "Too bad you couldn't have shut me up a few minutes earlier; before I managed to really hurt him..."

She blinked in surprise at the amused chuckle her image released. "Is he as unforgiving as you are?"

"No," she answered, without hesitation. She knew Zhane. His energy, charm, sense of humor, and cheerful disposition are what attracted her to him. His sincerity, determination, compassion, and selflessness made her fall in love with him. She knew how deep his feelings were, and she knew they wouldn't change with the tide.

She gazed into his eyes, gently wiping the standing tears. "So, what do I do now?" she asked. "How can I fix all this?"

A smirk touched the image's face. "That's up to you. But I could give you some advice..."

Karone's breath caught. What could her twin be scheming? "What?" she asked warily.

The double's smile fell, and Karone startled at the urgency in her eyes. "Remember me."

Karone blinked. "How could I forget?"

Her double shook her head. "No, I don't mean 'don't forget' me. I mean remember me. Accept me as a part of you. I'm not a parasite you should cut off, or an evil shade you should lock up in the corner of your soul. I'm part of your personality. I'm the experience of half your life. How I lived and what I did helped shape you into the person you really are. The sooner you come to terms with your past, the sooner you can step into the future."

Slowly, Karone nodded. "I promise, I will remember."

Then, a beatific smile brightened the double's face, as she closed the gap between them.

Karone watched silently as her reflection placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Then, she began to fade away, her last words a mere whisper.

"Live the life you were given. Just live, Karone."

The moment she disappeared, Zhane snapped out of his paralysis immediately, oblivious to what had happened around him. The tears trickled down his face, and his arms fell to his sides. His eyes burned with a desperation that cut Karone to the heart, as his final words echoed over and over in her head.

"I wish I never met you..."

She opened her mouth to apologize, but then he finished his thought.

"Of course, then I realize I could never live without you."

She was so shocked by his admission she was struck speechless. He'd taken back his words just as soon as he'd uttered them.

He offered her a sad quirk of the lip as he stuffed his hands, and the bracelet, into his pants pocket. "I'll... uh... see you."

He turned to the exit, fully intending to accept Karone's rejection without any further argument, only she grabbed his arm before he took his second step.

"Zhane, please!" she gasped. "I lied!"

Zhane stared at her for a long moment, his eyes slowly widening. "Excuse me?"

Karone wrapped her arms tightly around him, as if she feared he could vanish at any moment. "I'm sorry," she breathed, her cheek resting against his. "I didn't mean what I said. I do love you! I... was scared, and shocked, and guilty about attacking you, and-"

His palm touched the back of her head, stroking her smooth hair and silencing her. "It was an accident," he reminded her. "Stop beating yourself up about, well, beating me up."

She released a choked laugh at his levity. What did she ever do to deserve a man so forgiving, so loving...

"Don't you dare go there!!"

She heard the reprimand in her mind, and almost laughed aloud. It didn't matter how she got to this moment. All that mattered is what she did in this moment.

"I want to marry you," she murmured. "More than anything."

His soothing caress stopped abruptly. She could feel his breath catch at her words, and she smiled against his skin.

Zhane's hands came to her shoulders, easing her back to meet her eyes. "I didn't mean to put pressure on you, Karone," he assured her. "It's okay if you're not ready-"

Her smile widened as she held his gaze. "I'm ready."

Zhane stared at her, startled by the transformation. Before, she was timid and hesitant, but now certainty steadied her eyes, and confidence deepened her smile. Zhane hadn't seen her that sure of herself since that fateful day in the park...

The Silver Ranger blinked, and Karone could see the worry on his face. "I'm okay," she insisted. "I'm... whole. Well, almost whole."

She slipped her hand into his pocket, and retrieved the thin bracelet. "Now, are you going to do the honors...?"

His sunny smile returned with all its brilliance as he took the chain from her open palm, and clasped it around her waiting wrist.

Both were silent, staring at the chain as they contemplated the step they had taken. A testament of all they accomplished together, a declaration of lasting love, a promise to wed. It was a moment of awe as their lives were given a new and wonderful direction.

Then awe faded into breathless joy, as their lips joined with equal fervor to seal the pact.

Karone watched as the needle drew thick, red fluid from her vein. Andros gently drew the needle out of her skin, and pressed a wad of cotton to the tiny injury.

"It should take DECA a few minutes to run the tests," he stated. "We'll see how much more of Dark Specter's drugs are left in you."

He noticed that his sister didn't respond, so he squeezed her hand, hoping to offer a trace of reassurance. Karone smiled for his benefit, and watched as he carried the tube to the elaborate computer for a complete analysis.

She then sighed, lying on the stretcher and staring at the bland ceiling of the infirmary. Again.

Why did I have to open my big mouth? she groaned to herself.

Everything had been perfect. The Simudeck was still painted like that beautiful spot in the park, with flourishing trees and warm sunshine. Zhane had readily accepted her apology. She'd promised to marry him. And that kiss had been pure heaven.

But then later, Zhane had casually asked what changed her mind. And she stupidly told him the truth.

"I had a vision of what my life would've been like if I'd never met you, and it terrified me."

The worst of it was, her response had terrified Zhane even more so. And overprotective fiancée alerted overprotective big brother, and both Karovan men ran every single possible test to determine if Karone's symptoms were getting worse. After all, this "hallucination" was worse than all the others combined. Longer, more disturbing, and more elaborate in every detail.

A hallucination. That's just impossible! I'm not creative enough to make that story up!

It couldn't have been a mere dream. She refused to believe a simple jaunt into her subconscious could change her life so profoundly.

Then, a face drifted into her line of sight. Disheveled platinum hair, soft green eyes, and a small grin on his face.

"How're you holding up?" he asked gently.

She grinned at him, rising to plant a soft kiss on his lips. "Well, I can think of a few things I'd rather be doing with my new fiancée," she murmured, pleased with his answering smirk. "...but I guess I can understand your concern."

He sat on the stretcher beside her, taking her hand between his. "So, what exactly happened in this vision?"

She tensed, and he could feel it in her fingers. He gently rubbed her palm with his thumb, helping her gradually relax. Her gaze slid to him, the weight of his patient eyes encouraging her to bare her soul.

"To make a long story short, Astronema appeared to me, and rewound time," she explained. "She... killed you before you could be revived from stasis, and everything just snowballed. Andros was so consumed with grief he lost his ties with the Space Rangers. The Rangers began to doubt Andros' ability to lead, and the team divided. And as for me, I never learned what love was." She anxiously tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "So the Rangers lost the Countdown, and I... well... I kind of took over the galaxy. But I didn't enjoy my victory one bit. It left me... empty and alone."

She glanced at Zhane from the corner of her eye, expecting him to be shocked at her story. Or perhaps disgusted that Astronema had conquered the galaxy. Or at least pensive. But instead, a smug grin lit his face.

She frowned warily. "What?"

"So, what you're saying is, without me the whole galaxy fell apart."

Karone blinked owlishly. "I... guess so."

His grin stretched into a smirk. "I never realized how important I am to the entire space-time continuum!"

She slapped his arm playfully, dissolving into laughter as he maintained his imperious smirk. "You... you obnoxious...!" she faltered, unable to think of a way to complete her insult.

Andros walked back into view just in time to see amusement conquer his sister's face. It was refreshing to see, given all the stress she'd been under the past week.

He then cleared his throat, announcing his presence to the young couple. "The new analysis confirms that your bloodstream has less than half of the drugs we detected from the previous scan." He shrugged. "It looks like you're still on the road to recovery. I can't figure out why the most intense hallucination happened now."

Karone frowned. "Andros, I'm telling you - it wasn't a hallucination!"

The former Red Ranger sighed. They'd already been through this. "Karone, it couldn't have happened. You remember your life as Astronema. Did you ever have the power to travel through time?"

The former sorceress folded her arms. "I never tried, but that doesn't mean I couldn't if I'd wanted to."

Zhane sensed the tension between the siblings, and wrapped his arm around Karone's shoulders, drawing her closer. "Does it really matter?" he wondered. "Whether it was a dream, or if it was an alternate reality, it's over." His embrace tightened. "Karone, you're here now, and everyone is safe and sound."

She smiled at his words. He did have a point.

"Everything's the way it should be," she decided, taking Zhane's hand in her own. With a nod to her brother, she murmured, "We should tell him."

Andros cocked his head slightly. "Tell me what?"

The champagne cork went flying, its accompanying pop swallowed up by jubilant cheers. The party was in full swing, and Karone could honestly say she was surprised by the turnout. It was as if everyone in Angel Grove had come to wish her and Zhane a long and happy marriage... she'd spotted Justin, Ms. Ferguson from the Surf Spot, Lieutenant Stone, Bulk and Skull, even Taikwa and Commander Kinwon had come from KO-35 to join the celebration. The Simudeck was at maximum spatial decompression and even then it seemed the Megaship would not hold one more visitor.

"Karone!" a familiar voice called; the Karovan whirled around just in time to see Ashley Hammond approach, her right hand firmly twined around Andros' left. The grin on the Yellow Ranger's face was bright and unhesitant, and Karone had never seen her older brother look so fulfilled.

"Congratulations!" Ashley chirped, pulling Karone into an ecstatic embrace. "I can't think of anyone who deserves this more than you guys!"

Her cheer was infectious; Karone found herself grinning back as Ashley pulled away. "I can." she replied, shooting Andros a pointed look that made him blush.

"Where's Zhane?" she asked, looking around the room. Ashley pointed to a far corner where T.J. and Carlos were excitedly waving their hands around in front of a mortified Zhane. Cassie was standing with them, laughing uncontrollably.

"Teej and Carlos are explaining the Earth tradition of bachelor parties." Ashley explained, rolling her eyes. "Boys..." Turning to Andros, the Yellow Ranger's smile became a bit coy. "We better intervene before Zhane has a stroke."

They vanished into the crowd a moment later, leaving Karone to her thoughts. It all felt so surreal to her: surrounded by family and friends, soon to marry the man she loved with all her heart... She knew she deserved this, even though she'd never imagined any of this would ever be possible for her.

So why did it still feel like something was missing?

She didn't fully realize she was moving until she'd already slipped out of the Simudeck, pausing at her quarters to pick something up.

It was so quiet outside; a stark contrast to the sounds of laughter and contentment within the Megaship. There were a handful of people scattered about the park, going about their business, living their lives as they saw fit.

Karone walked across the green expanse, still gripping the object she'd taken - her k'lothos. She'd almost forgotten she'd kept it; in her disoriented state, she'd even believed this relic of a life since ended had manifested from thin air. At the time, she hadn't really been sure why she'd held on to it... but now she knew. She finally understood.

She'd held on to this last tangible fragment of her past... so she could let it go.

The lake's surface was smooth and tranquil, disturbed only by the occasional stray breeze. She felt the cold, hard edge of the blade in her hand, a weapon of pain and death... much like Astronema herself.

Without hesitation, Karone hurled the length of steel into the water. It vanished in a silent splash, and as Karone peered into the rippling waters her reflection wavered, until - for a brief moment - she thought she saw Astronema smiling warmly at her, an unspoken farewell in her eyes.

Then it was just her own face, looking back at her.

She paused, thinking back to her bizarre "hallucination", and the question she'd been struggling with since: had it all been a fantasy born of toxic vestiges in her blood? Or had it been something more, a glimpse into what might have been?

Here at last was the answer, in her acceptance. Whether the Princess of Evil had been a phantasm or something more, the truth Karone had learned was all that mattered.

She turned away from the lake and headed back towards the Megaship. Zhane was standing in the doorway, a loving grin plastered on his face as he watched her approach. Each step felt lighter and yet more sure, as though the shadows of her past were finally falling away from her.

And all that was left was to walk forward, towards the future that awaited her.

Afterward (Zack): All great love affairs have that point where you leave, but can't stay away. And while I could probably dump PR today and not feel guilty about it, there's no question in my mind that whatever else this story is, it's a labor of love. It might have taken longer than we meant to - maybe longer than it should have, I don't know - but I look at "If I Never Knew You" and I know that it's a story I'm proud of, a story that was worth telling. A big part of that is, of course, thanks to Rachel... had it been anyone else, had it been a solo effort, this story would have been the poorer for it. It's a uniquely gratifying experience, working with a fellow writer who's supportive, creative and sharp as a tack, someone who sees things you miss and brings a lot to the table besides. So, Ray, this one's dedicated to you. :)

Afterward (Rachel): What an incredible experience this has been! I post this last chapter with a strange mix of satisfaction and sadness: it's the culmination of years of hard work, and I admit part of me already misses this project. Together, Zack and I constructed a story more elaborate and exciting than either of us could've done alone, and I'm once again grateful for getting the chance to work on this. To all you authors out there eager to expand your creative horizons, I definitely suggest you give co-writing a shot. But it only works with an author you really admire and trust, and with whom you share a vision; otherwise the project will just self-destruct. So, one final thanks to all you readers out there, for your patience and eager interest in this story. Special thanks to Alexis: your enthusiasm and regular needling definitely got us moving on this story (and you know I appreciate it, Darling!). I hope you're as satisfied with the conclusion as we are. And finally, thanks, Zack, for sharing this inspired brainchild with me! We make quite a team, don't we?