All I Ever Wanted

Part Two: The Morning After

I'm warm.

Not clammy, but utterly comfortable. A gentle breeze massages my skin, and the distinct taste of the ocean tickles my throat when I inhale.

Alarmed, my eyes shutter open... and gaze into darkness. Though it's not completely obscure, as the shroud of night gradually gives way to the orange tinge of sunrise. I lift my chin to watch the soft radiance creep along the floor, suddenly realizing I'm lying in bed.

The mattress is sinfully luxurious, and the sheets smooth against my exposed skin. I'm obviously not in my standard issue bunk bed on Terra Venture.

But then... where am I?

"What's going on?" I demand aloud while emerging from the hug of the sheets. My arm reaches out to better balance my weight, and accidentally brush something firm... and warm.

My touch produces a soft grumble beside me, and the sound of sheets ruffling.

I'm shocked... so shocked my heart skips a beat as I turn around... to see a man in bed with me.

My hand flies to my mouth to smother a scream and I crawl from the bed. I do my best not to wake my... bedmate, and find myself staring at him in curiosity. However, his face is sandwiched behind his muscled arm and the fluffy pillow he rests upon.

I shiver, my head swimming in confusion as I turn away from the bed toward the source of the dawn. The large window is ajar, giving passage to the sea breezes. Outside, I can make out the rippling ocean, reflecting the deep blue and red-streaked sky at dawn. I pace toward the door beside the window, and tentatively open it.

I'm thrown to see there is no lock on the knob. The door swings open, revealing a modest wooden patio that stretches the full length of the bedroom. I pass the twin lounge chairs, and descend the steps to the sand.

The sand is damp from the night, but regardless it's the most beautiful shore I can imagine... white sands, dusted with tiny pink specks of coral, and shimmering sea foam crawling up from the pristine water. I'm drawn to the water, a childlike thrill climbing my spine as thoughts of my grandparents' home in Florida come to mind. I dip a timid toe into the shallow water, for the first time looking down at my legs.

My bare legs.

I gape at the totally uncharacteristic silk shift, hanging from my shoulders by too-thin straps with a hem just barely covering anything. I have never worn such a thing in my entire life, as I've always preferred full flannel pajamas that wrap the body in a warm hug.

Why is everything so wrong... but at the same time so right? I know I should be afraid... or at least uncomfortable in this inexplicable environment. I can't remember how I got here at all... I can't remember any recent event very clearly. Just... sensations. I feel the whisper of physical and emotional pain tearing through me, causing me to tremble with... with something.

I swathe my arms around my body in a pathetic attempt to ward off the inner chill, and turn my head to the sun painting bands of orange along the calm waters. The cool breeze weaves through my loose hair, and the direct currents of dry air and solar radiance brings a tear to my eye. The growing light warms me, and the brilliant reflection crawling along the ocean keeps persistently moving, right to my feet at the edge of the water.

It's the most beautiful sunrise I've ever experienced. The sting in my eyes becomes so insistent I lift my hands to rub away the discomfort. Only... as my fingers come in contact with soft lashes rather than scratch-resistant plastic, my confusion builds anew.

I don't have my glasses on, but... I can see perfectly! Nothing is blurry... not even the disk of the sun in the distance! Granted, my glasses aren't quite Coke bottle in breadth, but I've needed them for as long as I can remember. And contact lenses have always been out of the question... my eyes can't handle the harsh chemicals and oxygen deprivation.

How is this possible?

"Keni?" a voice calls from behind me, "What are you doing up so early?"

I freeze like a scared doe caught in headlights, self-consciously tugging the hem of my shirt to maintain some modesty. I hear the creak of footsteps against the wooden steps, and then the faint crushing of sand underfoot.

"You and those sunrises," he murmurs, amusement touching his voice. "I just don't get how something that happens every day can be so spectacular to you."

Hands reach around my waist from behind, and his chin tucks itself in the small hollow between my neck and shoulder... as if it belongs there.

I swallow, so flabbergasted by the familiar ring in that subdued voice. My jaw slack, I glance down at the all-too familiar arms that hold me so snugly. I notice a modest gold band on his left ring finger... and a matching one on my own hand, that instinctively moves to cover his.

I'm wearing a wedding ring. Why didn't I notice it before?

"L...Leo?"

His body rocks as he chuckles softly. "Wow, I sure hope that wasn't a question!"

There is something about his mischievous humor that makes me smile. Perhaps it's the fact that it's so genuine ... it's a part of who he is. And though I doubt he realizes it, he just glows with warmth.

My heart quickens as I dawns on me that Leo is standing behind me, holding me in an intimate embrace, wearing a wedding band that matches my own.

He's... he's mine!

I suppose instinct just took over. Suddenly, I can't resist his magnetism, leaning into his strong chest and angling my head just enough to feel his cheek better against mine. I flush, my hypersensitive skin duly feeling the warmth of his bare chest tingling my back, his steady heart beating behind mine.

I've never felt so... exposed to him; and I don't mean merely physically. Usually, whenever we are alone together, I always bat away his boyish charm like a peeved-but-amused babysitter. I slap him when he tries to sneak a taste of Damon's birthday cake. I scold him when he schemes his way out of washing the dishes.

I'm not sure precisely why... but there has always been a distance between us. I don't know if it's my doing, or Leo's; but our interactions were always... silly. It bordered on flirtation, but I can't be sure. Perhaps Leo just wasn't interested in something more. Or... perhaps I wasn't ready to take that chance.

But now, things are different. I am no longer so apprehensive. He's mine... I know I'm not risking our friendship, or heartbreak, or the chemistry of the team, or anything else. I'm free to... touch him like this. Skin to skin, beyond just our hands brushing against each other accidentally. My initial discomfiture melts away completely, leaving my mind at peace as we enjoy the daily miracle of dawn.

The moment is perfect... as if it were out of a dream.

Is all this a dream? Can a dream feel so real? Can a dream be so perfect?

Dreams usually have a base in actual wishes or desires, but in my experience they are also littered with fantastic elements, like flying mice or something.

This can't be a dream. It doesn't feel like a dream. Which leads to another frightening question...

Am I... dead?

Vaguely, that burning, painful sensation touches me again. Visions of fire, white light, and the screams of my friends haunt me. That seems surreal... more like a dream than reality.

I'm... having difficulty distinguishing the two.

"You're very quiet, Keni," Leo murmurs. His hands shift gently, turning me around so I can face him.

I get my first good look at him... dark hair disheveled by slumber, morning stubble darkening his cheek, pale green eyes sparkling as they reflect the warm morning light.

I smile shyly at his small, inquisitive grin, and turn my eyes away from his. I can feel my cheek burning, once again made quite conscious of our intimacy.

"Something on your mind?"

My scientific brain generates a thousand questions, but I realize to utter them would certainly throw Leo off guard. Still, I can't resist.

"How long have we been here?"

He glances upwards as he calculates. "About five minutes; but who knows how long you've been out here by yourself."

"No, I meant... Neo-Earth," I clarify.

I expect a frown of puzzlement to mar that perfect face. Instead, his smile widens. "Every day feels like a new beginning."

It was certainly a bizarre answer, and it screamed against all logic, but it... felt right. Why does everything feel so timeless?

Why am I questioning it, anyway?

"So, ready for breakfast?" he invites.

I smile. As Leo tosses his arm about my shoulders, I force my natural inquisitiveness to rest.

Why should I demand answers? After all, I'm in my personal paradise, married to the man I adore, living in a wonderful house where the sun greets us every morning. What more can I possibly want?

* * *

-Andros-

I watch the assembly of solemn Galaxy Rangers, huddled in a semi-circle, standing before me in the hangar from which my veteran team will soon disembark.

My team has a mission to continue, and we can't stagnate. If we don't press onward, the new threat we detected will consume the galaxy Zordon died to purge.

The Galaxy Rangers, however, have to cope with a loss that cuts so deeply, it's beyond description.

Although my years of service as the Red Space Ranger have hardened me, I still feel sick with sorrow for this bold though woefully inexperienced team. I am all too familiar with the pain of losing loved ones in the line of duty. How many people had died during the war against Dark Specter? Family, friends, fellow Rangers, innocent civilians... I shudder to count.

I know what it's like to have a part of you soul violently and unexpectedly torn away. These Rangers didn't even have the chance to help their ally. They arrived just in time to witness the blinding white fire that consumed the Pink Ranger whole, leaving nothing at all in its wake.

They couldn't even say goodbye.

"Thank you, for all you've done," I tell them, my face set in a grim mask. I know any words of condolence would be useless. Not only am I poorly equipped to offer comfort to this group of near-strangers, but I know to do so would prove fruitless. When a sacrifice has been made, I have personally found that gratitude instead of sympathy is more of a consolation. It reminded me of the good that had been accomplished as a result of the sacrifice, rather than the loss itself.

Kai Chen, the Blue Ranger, chooses to represent his team. He steps forward, offering me his hand. "We're... glad to help, Andros."

While the composed officer says the words cleanly, years of battle and hard-won victories make me keenly aware of the effort Kai had to put into uttering that sentence.

He is trying desperately to move forward... to remember his duty to the galaxy as a Power Ranger. Never to question fate, or let himself reflect on everything that was lost. To hold it in... to block it out. To silence the haunting voice of one's fallen comrade, muttering a torturous litany of 'What if...?'

'What if you had arrived on time? What if I weren't fighting alone? What if I never even became a Ranger? What would I be doing now... if I were still alive? What kind of happy future have I been denied, because you weren't there??'

I take his hand in a genuine shake, silencing my own personal demons with the skill only garnered from years of experience. My face shows none of my tension, as I offer a silent prayer that these promising heroes won't have to endure the guilt that still cripples me.

Aided by my friends, I have restored KO 35 to its pre-war glory. I helped assure peace for my planet, Earth, Eltar, Aquitar, Triforia, and all the countless systems under the thumb of tyrants like the Machines, Dark Specter, and Lord Zedd. I participated in the Countdown... winning the final battle of a war that had swallowed countless lives, and spanned over ten thousand years.

However, no number of victories can ever balance the weight of my defeats. No number of lives saved can make me forget the lives lost.

Through my distraction, I feel something brush passed me. I incline my eyes, and watch Cassie as she hugs each of the mourning Rangers in turn. As the direct beneficiary of Kendrix's death, the burden my good friend bears is traumatic.

She will never again be the light-hearted, buoyant person she was before the Psycho Rangers' latest assault. She will be haunted by the memory of the Ranger who died to save her.

I know the stabbing pain of watching a friend die on my behalf. I was there when Zhane threw himself in front of Dark Specter's monster. I watched in detached fascination as the blade severed bones and organs, spurting blood everywhere. I remember the rage that burned within me, that dulled into the cold dispassion that ruled my life for two lonely years.

Only, Zhane didn't die for me. I managed to save him... save my soul from the weight of a guilt that could never be quenched.

"I'm... I'm so sorry," Cassie murmurs, squeezing her eyes tightly in a desperate effort to fight the tears back for just a few moments more. "Kendrix was such a wonderful person... so strong, so giving. Oh God, I'm sorry I couldn't help her... stop her... before...!"

"Ssh," T.J. urges, almost materializing at her side. He is insistent in his embrace, helping her find the warmth and unconditional comfort of his affection. His arms envelop her, stroking her hair and back, slowly calming her.

I also know from experience how powerful love can be. Ashley... helped me find myself again. Her vigilant, supportive presence was crucial to my recovery, from the pain of losses passed, and the anguish of the losses I was sure the Countdown would cost me.

My second-in-command lifts his gaze. His dark eyes speak volumes as he wordlessly expresses all the gratitude and sorrow that fill him.

Then Maya, the kind-hearted Yellow Ranger, pulls away from her team, offering a questioning glance at T.J. When the Blue Ranger nods his acquiescence, she gently touches Cassie's shoulder, and smiles into the Pink Ranger's tear-streaked face.

"Cassie, Kendrix chose the path she has taken. She knew the risks, and she weighed them. Trust me, I know Kendrix... she's never done something impulsive as long as I've known her. She knew what was at stake, and she acted in good judgment."

Cassie nods mutely, struggling to regulate her breaths without choking on her sobs.

"Kendrix died to save all of us, as well as everyone on Terra Venture," Maya continues, "Now isn't the time for guilt, from any of us."

The wise simplicity that seems to be the Mirinoian's nature rings true to us all. We all fall into a brief, contemplative silence.

Finally, Ashley raises her voice. "We should get going."

My personal savior turns to me, and gently touches my palm. My fingers weave through hers tightly, as a sudden, illogical fear grips me. I fear she might vanish... as the Pink Galaxy Ranger had.

I push the paranoia back into the darker recesses of my heart, and turn back to my new comrades. "Give our farewells to Leo."

I don't blame the Red Ranger for his absence. If it had been Ashley, ripped away while I helplessly looked on... I'd be far more than inconsolable. I'd be incoherent.

"We'll do that," Damon Henderson, the Green Ranger, assures me.

Goodbyes and regards already exchanged, my teammates and I strap on our helmets, board our gliders, and prepare to leave. The Galaxy Rangers leave the hangar, and watch us depart from behind the safety of several feet of glass.

I bid a last salute to Damon, Maya, and Kai as they shrink in my vision. They are all able, worthy heroes. More than worthy to hold the Power.

I shake my head solemnly as I leave three numbed warriors to face the murky swamp that is their immediate future, as they gradually learn to deal with their loss.

* * *

-Mike-

"Bro?"

My voice is strong, but laced with an undercurrent of dread, as I cross the dark apartment that is the last known whereabouts of my little brother.

Not to my surprise, there's no verbal answer, but as my eyes adjust to the obscure room, I can make out a silhouette on the couch, facing one of the larger windows.

Leo stares into the infinite blackness of space, his entire body motionless, shoulders hunched forward.

I know him. I've been there for every heartache he's ever dealt with. As kids, he always looked to me for guidance, and that didn't change much as we both grew up. I know he still sees me as the wise older brother... and even though he's the leader of the Power Rangers, sometimes he needs someone else to show him the way.

To someone who doesn't know him, he probably seems like he wants solitude. He separated himself from his friends, shrouding himself in darkness and meditating on the cosmos.

But Leo Corbett never wants to be alone. He's terrified of true solitude. And that's part of the reason why he's so shaken by what happened.

I sit beside him on the couch. "You want to talk about it?"

Leo doesn't respond at first, his eyes staring out the window as if he could see something worth considering out there. Then, his lips slowly part from the solemn line, but his eyes never wavered from the canopy of the heavens.

"A few months ago, after you had disappeared... Kendrix was sitting where you are right now," he tells me, his voice cold and oddly detached. "Funny, isn't it?"

I'm so stunned by his tone my worry grows tenfold. Is my little brother in shock?

"She made me promise that I'd never give up... hope." His voice catches on the last word, and he falls silent again, sifting through whatever is storming through his mind. "She... helped me so much when you fell, Mike. She promised me everything would be okay... and when she said it, I... I believed her. She made me believe it... and she was right. We found you."

A sad grin crosses his face. "She was right. She was so smart... she knew just what to say. And now... she's gone. She's gone Mike! Just like that!"

He snaps his fingers in illustration, the harsh sound stunning me. I watch his eyes widen feverishly, brow pinching as he finally looks at me.

"Where is she, Mike?" he mutters, his voice raw and pained. "M...maybe she's in another dimension somewhere? Like you were? Maybe there was a localized wormhole that sent her through time, or even across the galaxy?"

His voice is so broken and petulant, I suddenly feel like I've been transported fifteen years into the past, when our dog Hercules ran away from home. Leo looked at me with those same watery eyes, begging for reassurance that the world wasn't going to end.

He never learned how to deal with loss. Perhaps, it's because he never had to. Hercules came back after a few days, thanks to a wary neighbor. And even I had resurfaced, after months of missing in action.

But it's not optimism that makes him refuse to accept loss. It's something far less comforting. It's denial, pure and simple.

He can't handle the possibility that Kendrix is gone forever. I know it hurts... Kendrix has been my friend since we both joined the GSA. She's so brilliant, fun, and just so giving, it's impossible to see the justice in her death. But at the same time, I'm not surprised she'd make that kind of sacrifice.

"Dammit, Mike, we will find her," Leo suddenly snarls at me. I look up, shocked to see the anger simmering in that haunted green gaze. Apparently, he took my silence as a sign of doubt. "I'm not giving up on her."

I hear the door slide closed behind him, my astonishment slowing my response. This kind of obstinance is more than dedication. It hardly sounds... sane.

Leo... I'm sorry this happened, both to Kendrix, and to you. She's just too good a person to die so young. And you, little brother... you're too unprepared to lose someone you care for.

Someone, I suspect, you really care for...